Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Home

We have been missing from the blogging world due to papers for me, travel, and work for Danny. This is just a quick musing on what God seems to gently revealing to me everywhere I turn.

It is the concept of home. Henry Nouwen wrote this wonderful book The Return of the Prodigal Son, which I started reading a couple of weeks ago. The first section is about the prodigal son returning home. When I first started reading, I sobbed at the amazing thought of coming home to a father with as much grace and unconditional love as this father. I was tired, confused, and not feeling at home, yet in SF. Nouwen's words offered not conviction, but hope and invitation to come "home" to my Father's embrace, no strings attached.

I did, but the curveballs of life got in the way of me going home everyday. Then, we went to church this Sunday and the Pastor preached on Jesus overturning the money tables in the temple (John 2:13-22). His sermon was brilliant and at the end, during a prayer and response time, he was talking about home. I'm not really sure how he got there except by the power of the Holy Spirit, because that was the literal word I needed to hear. I needed the image of two children who are so confident in their father's love and provision that they stand in front of a double doored frige with both doors wide open and do not feel any shame about the electricity they are wasting. Tears came streaming down my face at the thought of having enough confidence in Jesus' love and grace to stand with the proverbial fridge wide open.

The Lord seems to be trying to tell me to live at home. To live in his embrace and the peace that comes from that. If I lived like I have been truly forgiven and am loved unconditionally, I would have so much more freedom. I would no longer be consumed by the fear of what others think about me. I would be able to love, without expecting anything in return.

So, I want to come home...each day.